Contrary to my usual Scottish weather pessimism, it felt like we actually had more sunny days this year than last (purely going by memory here; I haven’t dug into the Met Office stats to prove it!). But looking out into the garden reminded me of last year’s unusually wet autumn. Back then, the constant downpours delayed my gardening chores, and I ended up completely skipping trimming my lavenders.

It was only this summer that I learned a painful lesson: if you don’t cut back lavender flowers before winter, they tend to die off unless you happen to have a very specific, indestructible variety. I had faithfully trusted the garden centre labels at Dobbies and B&Q promising “English Lavender – winter hardy for UK conditions!”

The takeaway for my next plant purchase? Look past the broad “hardiness” label and actually read the specific care instructions. That said, hope springs eternal in the garden—I went right back to the same shop, bought the exact same variety, and have made a stern mental note to trim them post-flowering (fingers crossed I still remember come chilly November!).

Diving Into Dare I Say It

Speaking of paying closer attention to care instructions we were never really handed: the rest of my reading this week took me somewhere quite different.

Earlier in the year, I spotted Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I’d Known About Menopause by Naomi Watts on Emma Guthrie’s 2025 reading list. I added it to my own queue and finally reached the last page today.

Before diving in, a quick disclaimer: I am not sure I can do full justice to the entirety of the book here. Treat this not as an academic literature review, but rather as a collection of personal reflections and key ideas that resonated with me from her journey. Watts frames the book primarily as a personal memoir, weaving in clinical and scientific research along the way rather than presenting a dry medical paper.

The moment I mentioned to friends or colleagues that I was reading a book on menopause, there were visible squirms. ‘Hmm… uncomfortable topic!’ Some quickly added: ‘I’ll read that in due course—I’m not there yet.’

It struck me how deep the stigma still runs. If simply reading about it makes people uneasy, imagine how difficult it is for a woman to openly say, “I am in menopause.”

Women have long had to navigate the unfair trope of being labeled “emotional” or “hormonal” at the slightest hint of legitimate frustration. My immediate thought was: By naming this phase so explicitly, are we just handing people a convenient new label to dismiss women’s valid reactions as merely ‘menopausal’?

Yet that is precisely why books like this matter. And to be clear: you don’t need to be in perimenopause, menopause, or even be a woman to read it. Understanding the biological and emotional shifts that affect half the population is something everyone benefits from.

Scepticism, Science, and Balance

I’ll admit I started the book with a healthy dose of scepticism. Naomi Watts owns a midlife beauty and wellness brand, and I was slightly wary that the book might turn into an extended product brochure.

Thankfully, it wasn’t that at all. It felt candid, grounded, and refreshingly honest.

A few key themes stood out to me:

• HRT and Lifestyle Are Allies, Not Competitors: Watts is openly pro-Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), but she is careful to emphasise that HRT is not a magic wand or a substitute for foundational health habits like resistance training and cardiovascular exercise. They work in tandem, not in competition.
• No One-Size-Fits-All Protocol: A vital caveat throughout is that every woman’s body responds differently. Finding the right therapy, delivery method, and dosage often requires patience and trial-and-error.
• The Complexity of Existing Conditions: For women managing conditions like endometriosis, these decisions become a nuanced balancing act—weighing which symptoms you fear most against the potential risks and benefits of various treatments.

The Silver Linings: Clarity and What Lies Ahead

Beyond the medical and physical aspects, what I found most inspiring were the revelations about midlife psychology.

There is a distinct liberation that seems to arrive with this stage of life: a sudden, refreshing loss of patience for nonsense and social fluff. Along with that comes genuine clarity of thought. As children grow up and prepare to leave the nest (or already have), the rhythm of home changes, creating room for long-overdue “me time.”

It also prompts a natural re-evaluation of our work lives, our ambitions, and a gentle reminder of the finite nature of time—focusing our energy on what truly remains and what we want to do with it.

It’s an open, reassuring read that leaves you feeling informed rather than apprehensive. Highly recommended.

Over to You

Have you read Dare I Say It, or is there another book on health and midlife transitions that reshaped how you think about ageing and work-life balance?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and recommendations in the comments below!

It started while listening to an episode of Dave Stachowiak’s podcast featuring Dr Leanne ten Brinke, a psychological scientist who studies dark personality traits in the workplace. She shared a statistic that stopped me in my tracks: individuals with psychopathic traits appear in senior management at roughly three times their rate in the general population.

Why do corporate ladders consistently reward people who bring dysfunction with them?

The answer is surprisingly simple: we routinely mistake confidence for competence.

When we evaluate someone under conditions of uncertainty, real competence is difficult to measure on the fly. Our brains default to an easy shortcut: charisma, swagger, and assertiveness. People with dark personality profiles don’t struggle with self-doubt or imposter syndrome. They pitch terrible ideas with the same unyielding conviction as brilliant ones—and hiring committees reward the performance because they assume confidence signals capability.

The Illusion of Symmetry

On a walk recently, I took two photos of the same wild deer. From the side profile, his antlers looked textbook-perfect—balanced, imposing, and sleek. But when he turned and looked at me head-on, the asymmetry was obvious: one side grew noticeably wider and crooked.

The initial impression of flawless symmetry was simply a trick of the viewing angle.

We fall for the exact same trick with technology.

Recently, I revisited notes from The McKinsey Way, particularly around structured problem-solving. It got me thinking about how Generative AI models operate. When an AI generates an answer, it doesn’t stammer, clear its throat, or add an insecure “I think…” It presents information with pristine grammar, structured elegance, and absolute authority.

From one flattering angle, it presents an aesthetic of total perfection. But Large Language Models don’t actually “know” facts; they predict plausible sequences of text. The moment you look head-on—auditing the sources, checking the math, and testing the edge cases—the asymmetries and hallucinations become obvious.

When an LLM hallucinates, it does so with the exact same polished, unshakable confidence as a corporate charlatan. In both cases, we get seduced by fluency, assuming that because something looks symmetrical and articulate, it must be true.

Moving Beyond “Trust, but Verify”

This is where the classic management playbook needs an update.

In The McKinsey Way, structured problem-solving relies on rigorously stress-testing hypotheses against hard data. For decades, leaders have framed this balance using Ronald Reagan’s classic maxim: “Trust, but verify.”

However, in her conversation with Dave Stachowiak, Dr. ten Brinke pointed out why that rule fails when dealing with high-conviction deception—and why it fails just as badly with generative AI:

“As much kindness and compassion as we might show toward dark personalities, there’s one thing we can’t do: trust them… so the old rule of ‘trust but verify’ doesn’t hold. With them, it must be all ‘verify’ all the time.”

— Dr. Leanne ten Brinke

When you extend baseline trust upfront, you anchor on the assumption that the source is credible. Your brain immediately slips into confirmation mode rather than critical audit mode.

Whether evaluating high-stakes leadership decisions or integrating AI into your research pipeline, the operating model has to shift from “trust, but verify” to “verify by default.”

A Few Takeaways for the Work Ahead

• Separate delivery from substance: Charisma is a presentation skill; competence is an execution skill. Never evaluate an executive’s pitch or an AI’s summary based on how smooth it sounds.
• Audit the unsexy details: Treat polished presentations and AI drafts as working hypotheses. Check the math, look at the underlying data, and test the sources directly.
• Keep perspective: It’s easy to look at corporate dysfunction or AI chaos and feel cynical, but Dr. ten Brinke shared an empowering reminder: 80% to 90% of people do not have dark personality traits. The vast majority of people are honest, collaborative, and well-intentioned. The noise comes from a small, hyper-confident minority exploiting our cognitive blind spots.

Fluency is cheap, but rigour takes work. As our tools and workplaces get faster and more articulate, our most valuable skill isn’t speaking with authority—it’s learning to pause, see past the polish, and verify the truth.

How are you building verification habits into your own work—whether dealing with confident colleagues or AI tools? If you’ve found practical ways to cut through the fluency trap, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

I knew he had been in palliative care; he had faced his health challenges for a few years now and, in true Malcolm fashion, had always been incredibly open about them. Yet, even when you think you are prepared for the inevitable, the finality of the news hits you like a brick wall. Today, there is a massive, irreplaceable hole in the hearts of every single person who had the privilege of engaging with him.

My journey with Malcolm began in 2017 when he interviewed me for a Research Assistant role at Oxford. By March 2018, I officially joined his team. Little did I know then how much that single career move would fundamentally reshape who I am—not just as an academic, but as a human being.

Dismantling Hierarchies and Choosing Abundance

I recently read a book that touched upon the courage to be discouraged, and it made me think deeply about Malcolm. He is the only person I have ever met who truly, effortlessly walked the path he preached.

Coming from India, where the senior-junior hierarchy is deeply ingrained in us from childhood, working with Malcolm was a profound culture shock. He completely rejected hierarchy. He treated every single person he met as an absolute equal. To him, everyone was inherently good, and collaboration wasn’t just a buzzword—it was his entire motto.

In the often cutthroat world of academia, where gatekeeping and territorialism can run rampant, Malcolm showed me through his everyday actions that the pie is always big enough for everyone. He gave me the radical freedom to make mistakes, to stumble, and to learn from them without fear.

He didn’t just mould my career; he shaped my character. He was the one who gently encouraged me to try life coaching. During that time, he asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks: “Priya, what do you want people to say about you when you die?”

I wasn’t prepared for that question then. Truthfully, I’m still not prepared for it now. But Malcolm lived his life with the answer to that question completely figured out.

Lessons from a Master Mentor

Malcolm gave so much of his wisdom to the world. To remind myself of his philosophy, and to share a piece of his brilliance with those who never had the honour of meeting him, I want to list some of his most impactful recommendations here. He may have gathered these from different corners of his life, but to me, they will always belong to him:

1. The Rule of 3: Plan your week around just three key highlights you want to achieve by Friday. Protect your focus.
2. The Curiosity Starter: Start conversations by asking, “What is an interesting insight you recently gathered?”
3. Problem-First Thinking: Think big. Focus entirely on the problem you are trying to solve, not just the skills you currently have. You can always learn or bring in the skills needed to solve a worthy problem.
4. Calculated Clarity: Use a weighted pros-and-cons table for complex decision-making.
5. Accountable Independence: Give your team members the absolute freedom to lead, while still standing firmly accountable for them.
6. Wing-Giver Leadership: Help your colleagues grow both in their careers and in their personal lives. Give them the wings to fly. When you do, they don’t just stay colleagues—they become your wider circle of lifelong friends across the world.
7. The Craft of Academia: He mastered—and taught—even the smallest nuances, from how to critically read a journal paper to how to write prose that genuinely captures the reader’s heart and mind.
8. The “3 S” Framework: Synergy, Serendipity, and Serenity. Spend your intentional time building connections (Synergy), because the world becomes a far better place to live in when we invite unexpected joy (Serendipity) and peace (Serenity) into our days.

Looking to the Future: What Truly Matters

Losing Malcolm has forced a deep wave of reflection over me. Having also recently experienced a terrifying, near-miss health scare with my daughter, I am being grounded by a stark, undeniable reminder: Life is simply too short to waste on the trivial things.

We lose ourselves so easily in the hustle, the stress, and the minor anxieties of daily life. But the reality is that tomorrow is never promised.

If there is one way we can carry Malcolm’s incredible legacy forward into the future, it is to live more intentionally. Take the time today to send a note to someone you love. Dedicate unconditional time to your family and friends. When the noise of our careers fades away, these are the people who will be there for you—and the ones who will stand by your family when you are no longer here.

Thank you for everything, Malcolm. You taught us how to fly, and we will keep flying, carrying your serenity and synergy with us.

Rest in peace.

• Today’s Distance: 3.42 miles
• Total Progress: 7.86 / 106 miles

The Great Stirling Milk Crisis

Unsurprisingly, it was raining again in Stirling today. I started my walk indoors on the treadmill, but about 30 minutes in, disaster struck. I suddenly remembered we had completely run out of milk, and I’d forgotten to buy any. Proper panic mode set in—because let’s be honest, a morning without a proper cuppa is not an option.

Normally, I would have just hopped in the car. But looking out the window, the downpour had paused. I checked the Met Office app, which confidently predicted the rain would hold off for exactly an hour.

Time to test the forecast!

I marched out the door and walked down to Sainsbury’s to fetch the milk. And guess what? The weather gods smiled upon me—I didn’t get rained on at all! Not only did I secure the tea essentials, but the extra walk took me much closer to my daily mileage goal, helping to compensate for my tiny Day 2 stint.

Today’s Brain Food: The 5 Types of Fear

While dodging the rain, I was listening to my audiobook, Level Up by Rob Dial. Today’s chapters covered the 5 types of fear that hold us back:

1. Fear of failure: The worry that we won’t reach our goals.
2. Fear of rejection: Social anxiety and the dread of being turned down.
3. Fear of success: The underlying fear of change and unconscious self-sabotage.
4. Fear of being a fraud: The classic imposter syndrome.
5. Fear of abandonment: The fear of being left to handle things alone.

The biggest takeaway for me was that the human brain, if left to its own devices, will almost always default to the negative. It simply can’t tell the difference between a primal fear (like being chased by a predator) and an intellectual fear (like trying something new). That means the responsibility falls entirely on us to rationalise those fears and push forward anyway.

Join Me on the Journey!

I’m keeping at it, one mile (and one book chapter) at a time. Please consider supporting my journey and fundraising for Cross Basket House on my JustGiving Page!

Do follow along for daily snippets of insights from whatever I’m listening to on my walks. Also, I am officially on the hunt for new audio material—so if you have any brilliant audiobook or podcast recommendations, please drop them in the comments below!

See you for Day 4!

Now, I’m not exactly a fitness enthusiast, and my enthusiasm might have slightly clouded my math skills when signing up. The weather was sunny, and I completely misread the 106-mile goal as 106 kilometres. I figured 3.5 km a day was a breeze since I’ve done a few 5k walks recently. It was only after hitting register that I realised my mistake. But hey, I’m locked in now!

Today was Day 1, and the sunny weather naturally vanished. It was pouring, so I knocked out my first 3.6 miles indoors.

To pass the time, I listened to a fascinating lecture that popped up on my feed. It was a talk given at Cambridge in March 2025 by Sir Demis Hassabis (our first alumnus to win a Nobel Prize in 2024) titled ‘Accelerating Scientific Discovery with AI’. If you’re into STEM, it’s a must-watch on YouTube. He discusses everything from game dev to protein folding and “digital biology”, showing how AI is compressing decades of scientific innovation into mere months.

As Rob Dial says in his book Level Up, micro actions accumulate over time. I started with 3.6 miles today, and by chipping away at it daily, I’ll hit that 106-mile finish line by the end of June.

I’d love for you to join me on this journey! I’ll be posting daily updates here and on my JustGiving Page. Day 1 is officially in the books—here’s hoping for less rain tomorrow!

On January 29th, I attended the inaugural Circuit Energy Community Breakfast Briefing. The goal? Bringing together a multidisciplinary mix of SMEs, academics, and policymakers to tackle the gargantuan challenge of decarbonisation. It was a fantastic launch, with plenty of time for the kind of networking that actually moves the needle.

But as the coffee was poured, the data started to flow—and it was a wake-up call.

The Technical Reality Check: Adequacy vs. Security

Professor Keith Bell (University of Strathclyde) kicked things off with a “Beginners’ Guide to Energy Supply Resilience.” He drew a crucial distinction that often gets blurred in policy papers:

1. Adequacy: The “slow-burn” threats. Think fuel extraction disruptions, supply chain hiccups, or long-term adverse weather.
2. Security: The “fast-burn” threats. Sudden asset failures, comms breakdowns, or human error.

The Storage “Math” Problem

Keith’s slides on residual energy requirements to ‘meet the peak’ were particularly eye-opening. If we look at historical weather events (like the 2006 peaks) and project them onto our future system, the numbers for required storage are staggering:

• 1 Day of Peak Demand: ~1 TWh
• 1 Week of Peak Demand: 5.9 TWh
• 4 Weeks of Peak Demand: 14.5 TWh

To put that in perspective, our current UK Gas Storage capability is about 10 TWh. However, under the Clean Power 2030 (CP30) estimates, non-fossil storage is pegged at just 0.13 TWh.

The question we have to ask: Have we missed something in CP30? Are the assumptions incoherent, or are we vastly underestimating the “energy gap” during extreme weather events?

A View from PNDC: The Local Transformer Crisis

At PNDC, our analysis of 1-in-20 extreme weather events adds another layer of complexity: the local level. When the temperature drops, heat pumps (HPs) don’t just run; they run at full capacity.

• With 20% HP penetration on the network: We see 20% transformer overloading.
• With 50% HP penetration: Transformers overload by 60%, pushing hotspot temperatures to 150°C.

This isn’t just a technical glitch; it’s a recipe for significantly reduced asset life and potential failure. The mismatch isn’t just national; it’s happening on your street corner.

How Quickly Can We Flip the Switch?

One of the most jarring moments of the morning was comparing UK restoration standards to our European neighbours.

We are aiming for 60% restoration in 24 hours, but a full recovery could take nearly a week. In a world where we are asking everyone to switch to EVs and electric heating, a 5-day outage isn’t just an inconvenience—it’s a systemic failure. This “interruption anxiety” is a massive, often overlooked barrier to the EV transition.

The Social & Political Pillar

Following Keith’s data-heavy session was a tall order, but Fraser Stewart (GB Energy) brought it home by focusing on social resilience.

His message was clear: Bills matter. While we know long-term costs should be lower in a decarbonised system, we have to be honest about the “middle bit.” Who foots the bill now, and how is that cost distributed?

Fraser’s Key Takeaways:

1. A Just Transition: This isn’t a “nice-to-have”; it is the foundation of political resilience.
2. Local Ownership: People accept renewables much more readily when they own them, rather than when a developer drops them in.
3. Honesty: We need an honest conversation about the costs and the timeline.

Final Thoughts

The Circuit Energy launch was a reminder that while the “Idea” of decarbonisation is great, the “Engineering” and “Equity” of it are incredibly hard. We have a lot of work to do to bridge the gap between 0.13 TWh of planned storage and the 14.5 TWh we might actually need when the North Wind blows.

Let’s keep the conversation—and the coffee—flowing.

The session was chaired by Heather Thomson (CEO, The Data Lab), who guided a sharp discussion with an exceptional panel: Stephanie Earp (Head of AI, Space Intelligence), Nic Granger OBE (Chair of the Governance Board, The Data Lab), and Emily Sullivan (Co-director, Centre for Technomoral Futures).

If I had to summarise the mood, it wasn’t about “what new magic will AI do?” but rather, “how do we live, work, and stay safe with what we’ve built?”

Here are my key takeaways from the discussion.

1. The “Boring” Stuff Still Matters Most

One of the strongest themes, particularly championed by Nic Granger, was a return to fundamentals. There is a tangible risk for companies trying to push an “AI Agenda” without having their data house in order first.

We are seeing a move toward Data Sovereignty. There is growing concern regarding reliance on US-based cloud services and tech giants. The panel highlighted the risk of “grabbing off-the-shelf AI”—by doing so, are you handing over your proprietary insights to another company? To maintain a competitive advantage, businesses must integrate agents into their workflows while maintaining strict control over their own data.

2. The Shift from LLMs to SLMs (Small Language Models)

Is the AI bubble about to burst? The panel thinks not, but it is changing shape.

Stephanie Earp made a compelling point: if people are talking about a “burst,” it’s actually a sign of maturity. It means we are realising where AI is not appropriate. The future isn’t just massive Large Language Models (LLMs) that burn through energy; it’s about sustainability and Small Language Models (SLMs).

Stephanie used the example of satellite technology. You cannot run a massive model in orbit; you need energy efficiency and specific utility. The industry is moving toward making the smallest models possible to embed into products, solving specific problems rather than just asking “what can I do with AI?”

3. The Money is Moving: From Climate to Defence

A sobering insight from Stephanie was on the flow of capital. Previously, we saw a massive influx of investment into Climate Tech and Health Tech. However, in the current geopolitical climate, the priority—and the money—is shifting toward Defence and Security. We need to be mindful of which sectors might lose momentum as security takes centre stage.

4. The Human Element: Ethics, Literacy, and the Divide

Emily Sullivan brought the conversation back to the societal impact. We aren’t just dealing with code; we are dealing with people’s likenesses, deepfakes, and the safety of children (referencing the debate on social media bans for under-16s).

A major challenge identified was the Digital Divide. As noted in the discussion, perhaps only 5% of users are “power users,” while 95% use AI tools much like they use Google—surface level and unoptimized.

The solution?

• Education: It’s not just teaching kids how to use AI, but teaching them how not to use it.
• Practical Application: Nic highlighted how tech is making a real difference in social housing, using sensors for mould detection and predictive analytics to help the vulnerable.

5. Regulation is a Global Challenge

Regulation was the elephant in the room. Because AI is global, regulating it locally is incredibly difficult. The panel touched on the “Tech-Power Grab”—the tension between corporate capability and government guardrails.

As we look toward 2026, the challenge will be creating guardrails that prevent data leakage and protect digital identity without stifling the innovation that, as Stephanie noted, gives us “a lot of hope.”

Final Thoughts

When asked for a single word to describe the AI trend for the coming year, the panellists chose:

• Resilience
• Tech-power grab
• Accountability

These three words perfectly encapsulate the crossroads we are at. 2026 won’t just be about better chatbots; it will be about building resilient infrastructure, watching where the power (and money) flows, and holding the technology- and ourselves-accountable for how it is used.

(And yes, I told myself it was “research”. Mostly, it was an excuse to avoid writing.)

The internet, ever helpful, was full of people asking their children profound questions like: 

“What made you feel proud this year?”
“What did you learn about yourself?”

My teenager looked up from her phone, unimpressed: 

“Mum, I only remember yesterday’s ice-skating experience.”

Fair enough.

So we tried it ourselves. Not for wisdom. Just to remember.

We scrolled through our photos.

And suddenly — there it was.

Not grand events. Not milestones. Just… moments.

• Our family Costco haul!
• Her Christmas dance!
• My first parkrun — on a freezing Saturday. I ran (well, I walked!). But I finished.
• Wallace Monument from my home office window — photographed regularly. Same view. Different light. Different clouds. Always beautiful. A quiet ritual that reminds me: beauty doesn’t need fanfare. It just needs noticing.

I also remembered Chappel Roan’s concert in August — the kind of night you think will stay etched forever. Until it doesn’t.
It took flicking back through photos — glitter on our coats, the way the crowd swayed under neon lights — to feel it again. 

That’s what this year taught me: We don’t live just in the moment.
We live in the memory of it.
And if we wait too long to record it? The magic fades.

So I’ve started taking pictures. Not for Instagram. Just for us. For when the hype has settled, and all we have left is the feeling.

The Work That Moves Me

This year, I was lucky enough to speak at IMechE and IET events — standing in front of brilliant people who care as much about energy systems as I do. My team won the Strathclyde R&KE Impact Awards 2025. I co-authored two journal papers and four conference pieces — which, frankly, means I drank more Tea than water.

My work doesn’t change the world overnight.
But maybe — just maybe — it helps make the world feel a little less cold.

Books That Stayed With Me

I listened to 27 audiobooks this year. 

Some were life-changing. Some were… curious choices (How to Legally Rob Credit-Card Companies!). But every one was an act of self-care — quiet time in the car, during walks, while folding laundry, while cooking (yes, really).

I read Pride and Prejudice for the first time. And fell deeply in love with Elizabeth Bennet’s wit and Mr Darcy’s terrible social skills. It felt like meeting old friends after decades apart.

I devoured The Psychology of Money — not because I wanted to get rich, but because it finally explained why money feels so emotional.

And yes — I still haven’t read The Tibetan Book of the Dead.
It’s on my bedside table. Next to the art project I haven’t finished. And the book I started reading in January.

That’s okay.

Because sometimes, the best stories aren’t about finishing.
They’re about returning.

So here’s to 2026:

More walks.
More family nights.
More Costco chaos.
More photos of the Wallace Monument.
More conversations that make you feel seen.

More work that matters.
More books that linger.

And more permission — from myself — to simply be.

Thank you for reading these small, imperfect reflections.

Wishing you a New Year filled with warmth, wonder, and zero guilt about doing absolutely nothing at all.

With fondness,
Priya 🌅📚🧶

After last week’s heavy truths about the unseen labour women carry in male-dominated spaces, I promised we’d turn towards something hopeful: how to navigate it all with grace, strategy, and self-respect.

So let’s talk solutions — practical, human-centred ones. Because change doesn’t come from grand gestures. It comes from small shifts done consistently.

🔹 Reclaim Your Narrative

Stop waiting for permission to be seen. Start crafting your story — clearly, confidently.

“I’m Priya, R&D Leader at PNDC, leading whole-energy systems innovation with a focus on hydrogen integration and decarbonisation.”
No apology. No “just” or “maybe”. Say it like you mean it. Then say it again — in meetings, emails, even casual chats.

And yes — include your title everywhere. Even if it feels awkward at first. You’re not being flashy; you’re setting boundaries.

🔹 Build Reputation Through Connection (Not Just Performance)

You don’t need to work in isolation. Seek out communities — through hobbies, school events, friends-of-friends. These informal networks often lead to real opportunities.
(As someone who missed this window early on… I’ve learned: connections aren’t just professional. They’re personal too. And that matters.)

🔹 Reframe Authority — Own It

That instinct to downplay? Let it go.
It’s okay to say “This project was led by my team — and I’m proud of what we achieved.”
It’s also okay to say, “I’ve worked in clean energy policy for 12 years because I believe deeply in the transition.”

Yes, confidence can be warm. Yes, warmth can be confident. You don’t have to choose between them. Try saying both:

“I’m so excited to collaborate with you — I’ve been working on similar challenges for over a decade.”
See how that works?

🔹 Share Credit & Celebrate Others

Don’t hoard praise. When someone does great work, notice it. Say thank you. Acknowledge it publicly.
And when others do the same for you? Accept it with grace — not guilt.
Because here’s a secret: appreciation is reciprocal. The more you give, the more you receive.

Plus — pat yourself on the back too. Weekly reflection helps: What went well? What could I improve? This isn’t ego — it’s self-awareness.

🔹 Navigate Bias With Calm Clarity

If someone says something off-putting (a joke, assumption, remark), take a breath. It’s valid that you felt it.

You don’t owe anyone an education — but if you want to respond, use gentle probing.

“That comment made me pause — what specifically did you mean?”
“Can you help me understand why you said that?”
“That’s not okay with me. I’d appreciate it if we could avoid that kind of language.”

In extreme cases? Write it down. Document it. Protect your peace. You’re not responsible for fixing bias — only for protecting your boundaries.

🔹 Break the ‘Masculinity Contest’ Culture

Notice the room: Who’s dominating conversations? Who’s avoiding eye contact? Who stays silent during jokes?
Actively listen. Invite quieter voices in. Challenge assumptions when they arise. A diverse team doesn’t just happen — it’s nurtured.

And finally… don’t wait for permission to lead.
Even in rooms where women are present, decision-making can still feel like a boys’ club. That’s why mentorship and sponsorship matter — and why sharing stories about marginalisation isn’t a weakness. It’s essential.

✨ The Takeaway

We aren’t broken for needing more support. We’re brilliant for recognising where systems fall short, and then choosing to step forward anyway.

So let’s stop pretending “just doing our jobs” is enough. Let’s start redefining success on our own terms:
With clarity. With courage. With kindness to ourselves.

Because thriving isn’t about shrinking to fit in.
It’s about building spaces where you don’t have to.

I’m so grateful this book exists — not because it gave me answers, but because it gave me permission to speak up, ask questions, and keep going.

As we wind down toward the holidays, I want to take a quiet moment to say thank you — not just for reading, but for being here.

Whether you’re sipping tea by the tree, wrapped up in a blanket with an audiobook, or chasing toddlers through snow-covered streets (yes, even in the UK!), I hope this time brings you peace, laughter, and moments that feel like home.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me — I’m so glad we’re doing it together.

Wishing you all the best over Christmas and into the New Year. May 2025 bring you courage, clarity, and kindness — both for yourself and others.

Until then, stay kind, keep growing, and never forget:

💬 “You belong here — without changing.”

If any of this resonated with you, please share your thoughts. What small shift will you make next week?

Until then,
Warmly,
Priya ✨

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from knowing you’re working twice as hard just to be seen as on par.

It doesn’t come from long hours or tight deadlines — though those are part of it. No, this fatigue is quieter, deeper. It’s the slow burn of constantly proving yourself, of navigating assumptions about your role before you’ve even spoken, of adjusting your voice so it sounds confident but not “too much”, professional but not cold.

I’ve been thinking deeply about all this since finishing Thriving in a Male-Dominated Workplace (HBR Women at Work Series) — and honestly? It hit harder than I expected.

Because here’s the truth many of us know in our bones but rarely name out loud:

In some rooms, simply being present isn’t enough. You have to perform credibility—every single time.

Let me share a few moments that left me both unsettled and strangely relieved.

We’ve all felt it:

• Being mistaken for an admin, an assistant, or someone in support rather than leadership — despite having the title, experience, and impact. (This is called “role incredulity” — and yes, it happens more often than we admit.)
• That moment when your idea is ignored… until a man says it seconds later — and suddenly, it’s genius.
• The subtle expectation that if you’re assertive, you’re “aggressive”; if you’re warm, you’re “soft”. And there’s no middle ground where you can just be you.
• The invisible task of managing how others perceive you — while also trying to get work done.

And then comes the real kicker:
You start believing the narrative they write for you — not because it’s true, but because it feels safer to accept it than to fight every time.

I was struck by this line from the book: “Women are judged on warmth before confidence; men, the other way around.”
That one sentence explained so much about why I’ve spent years rehearsing my tone, softening my delivery, apologising too soon… all in service of being “likeable enough” to be heard.

There’s also the quiet cost of missed networks.
(I’ll confess: I wish I’d read this advice 10 years ago. I built my career through technical excellence — which served me well — but never prioritised widening my circle beyond professional peers. Now? I’m learning the hard way that reputation isn’t just what you do — it’s who knows you, trusts you, and speaks up when you’re not in the room.)

Then there’s the myth we’ve been taught: “My work should speak for itself.”
But here’s the truth no one tells us: If your work doesn’t align with the wider mission, if you don’t frame it clearly, if you don’t own your story — it will get lost in the noise.

And let’s talk about feedback.
How many times have we received vague or uninformed comments (“It’s a bit bold,” “Too ambitious”) without context? The book suggests taking a timeout: pause, reflect, ask clarifying questions — because not every critique is useful, and some are rooted in bias, not substance.

These aren’t small things. They’re cumulative. They wear down confidence. They make us question our place — even when we’ve earned it.

So yes… this part was heavy.
Because sometimes, being honest means admitting how much extra emotional labour women carry just to be seen as equal.

But here’s the thing:
Recognition is the first step towards change. And knowing these patterns exist? That’s power.

📌 Coming next week: Part 2 – Finding My Voice – And Keeping It.
We’ll explore how to build influence on your terms — from crafting an authentic elevator pitch to sharing credit (and praise!) generously, to reclaiming authority without apology.
Plus: simple tools for navigating biased remarks, building real networks, and creating space where everyone can thrive — not just survive.

I’m so glad I read this book — not because it gave me answers, but because it named what I’d been feeling all along.

And if you’ve ever felt like you’re doing more than your fair share of “just existing” at work… please know: you’re not alone.

Stay tuned for Part 2 — and feel free to reply with one word that describes how you feel after reading this. I promise, no judgment. Just solidarity. 💬

Warmly,
Priya ✨